I. Discipline -- Problems and pain -- Delaying gratification -- The sins of the father -- Problem-solving and time -- Responsibility -- Neuroses and character disorders -- Escape from freedom -- Dedication to reality -- Transference : the outdated map -- Openness to challenge -- Withholding truth -- Balancing -- The healthiness of depression -- Renunciation and rebirth -- II. Love -- Love defined -- Falling in "love" -- The myth of romantic love -- More about ego boundaries -- Dependency -- Cathexis without love -- "Self-sacrifice" -- Love is not a feeling -- The work of attention -- The risk of loss -- The risk of independence -- The risk of commitment -- The risk of confrontation -- Love is disciplined -- Love is separateness -- Love and psychotherapy -- The mystery of love -- III. Growth and religion -- World views and religion -- The religion of science -- The case of Kathy -- The case of Marcia -- The case of Theodore -- The baby and the bath water -- Scientific tunnel vision -- IV. Grace -- The miracle of health -- The miracle of the unconscious -- The miracle of serendipity -- The definition of grace -- The miracle of evolution -- The alpha and the omega -- Entropy and original sin -- The problem of evil -- The evolution of consciousness -- The nature of power-- Grace and mental illness : the myth of Orestes -- Resistance to grace -- The welcoming of grace.